Eagerly Awaiting Baby

“A friend described parenthood to me once like this, and it really struck a chord: Imagine taking a spaceship to a neighboring planet. You can still see the earth. The new planet is great, you like it, you even love it! But then your spaceship breaks and you can never get back to earth again. This is work, and life, and everything else before vs. after kids.” -Molly Findlay via Instagram @mothermag

My best friend since childhood sent this post to me today. She’s a new mom herself, and this explanation inspired me to (finally) write a post about how I feel toward my status of soon-to-be mom.

Knowing I am growing a life in my belly is magical. I feel her kick, move and turn and I can’t help but wonder who she’ll be. Whom will she look like? Will she have a voracious appetite like her mom, always ready to try new things and savor every bite? Or will she have a simple palate like dad, sticking to her favorite foods with very definitive taste? Will she be somewhat impulsive and wear her heart on her sleeve, complimenting women in bathrooms after a glass or two of champagne? Or will she be reserved and observant, preferring to watch and learn others’ behaviors instead?

What kind of mother will I be? Will I be a go with the flow and take an everything-is-going-to-be-okay approach? Or will I hover and worry, obsessing about the smallest things? Am I going to trust her teachers to always have her best interest at heart, or will I be a helicopter parent believing only I know what’s best?

Of course, all of this remains to be seen. I know that being a parent is the hardest job in the universe, and there will be times where I feel like I’m failing. I hope that during these inevitable moments I can remember to be gentle and kind to myself. I hope that I can be the kind of woman my daughter admires. I hope I am able to take every positive trait I’ve learned from all of the amazing mothers in my life (my own, my grandmothers, aunts, mother in law, sisters in law, my friends) and roll it into one great, big ball of supermom.

Pregnancy hormones have me shedding tears as quickly as a stain will appear on my daughter’s onesie, so without getting overly mushy I can testify to feeling a grand surge of love for this tiny human I haven’t met yet. I already feel protective. The motherly instinct is strong. I can’t thank God enough for this incredible blessing and for trusting me with the most magnificent title in the world: mother.

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7 comments

  1. Motherhood will be amazing and wonderful yet scary and frustrating all at the same time…don’t ever be too hard on yourself as you will always be doing what you think is best…always remember that you have a very strong support system in your family so don’t ever fear calling on them for support…I am confident that you will be an amazing Mommy!

    • Thank you so much for always reminding me of the amazing support system I have in you and so many others. You are confident that I will be an amazing Mommy; I am confident that you will be an amazing Tia!

  2. If the way that you are with your students is any indication of the mommy you will be to this fortunately blessed little lady…..you already are the best of the best.

  3. If she decides to make her appearance a day before her due dates, we will share birthdays!!!!! Virgo girls are the best! I should know, I am one! Congrats momma bear and you will enjoy this motherhood journey, I promise!

  4. You will always question, they will always question. You will feel like if it is enough, they will show you it is more than enough. You will think maybe you went to far, they will push you that far. At the end of the day you will learn together and that is the joy of it. You guys will be amazing parents!

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