I’ve never been the type of girl to have very many male friends. I’ve always had a lot of female friends and the same best friend since kindergarten.
A potpourri of girls’ opinions abound on topics from everything, ranging from “What should I wear?” to (when I was single) “Should I text him?” I grew up with an older brother, Cesar, and two cousins, Eric and Brian.
Having Cesar, Eric and Brian around CONSTANTLY meant I was always accosted with all things Male. Playing with dolls? No. Try playing kickball. Playing kitchen? No. Try fighting for the controller for your turn at Super Mario Bros. (Hey- if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.) When I entered Pre-K, I was so happy to make friends with girls. Gone were the days of all things boy.
Departing from all things Male meant departing from hearing male opinions, which didn’t matter when one is five years old — but years later — I found myself saying, “I wonder what a guy would think.” Of course, my brother wanted absolutely nothing to do with any guy-related question. He played baseball since the time he could walk, and all that testosterone and competition gets to you; as far as he was concerned, his little sister didn’t date. She was asexual for all he cared.
Desperately, my friends and I could have definitely used a male opinion from time to time. And I think such is the case for many women today, for both those who are single-for-now and those who are committed.
Enter Male Perspective. Read below for an overview of burning questions…answered by a smart, successful and straight man.
Women wonder about a lot of things, but in particular I’d like to address the women who wonder why they’re alone. Men have a tendency to wonder this same question about said women. Many times, the answer they come up with is, “There must be something wrong with her.” I believe this is the case in particular because many people have a tendency to drag past drama into a possible new relationship. At times when I was single, I would look back at the relationship that I was in and try to figure out if I was truly to blame.
The truth is, we should all take the time to do this. It is about bettering oneself and taking the time for self-actualization. I would always want to reflect on if I was true to myself and to the person I was with, so that I was able to move forward correctly.
Moreover, it is important to know what you want before you move forward so that you don’t waste your time and that of others. I call this the lily pad effect. Usually, people are scared to move forward unless they have some security. You often see this in relationships that people aren’t happy in. They want to move on. However, they won’t until they have a better option. In truth, you should always be happy and secure within yourself. Leave the insecurities behind. Take a step in the right direction so that your heart and mind are both in-sync.
Another problem I see is that many women wouldn’t recognize a nice guy if he fell from heaven. I always hear women saying, “I wish I could meet a nice guy,” but they always end up with the guy who treats them badly. Then they want to know why they’re so unhappy. On the other hand, often I have seen women truly getting treated the way they deserve by way of flowers, nice dinners, emotional support, etc. They always end up saying, He’s too nice. Then what? On to the guy who treats them bad, and in effect — back on the same circle again and again!
Also, take the time to find someone who brings out the best in you. A person who suits you! Stop with the George Clooney effect! More than likely, he’s not going to show up out of nowhere and sweep you off your feet. Be realistic! Put your paintbrushes away and stop trying to create a picture of who YOU want this person to be. Take the time for them to show you who they really are.
In conclusion, you should be secure in yourself if you’re alone. Sometimes you just have to let fate work its little magic. Let things happen and when the opportunity presents itself, you will know if you’re ready!